So KISS Owns A Football Team Now.

By March 10, 2014Featured, General, Sports

If you’re anything like us, you love football in all it’s forms.  Whether it’s the hometown Indianapolis Colts, local high school football on Friday nights, or big time college matchups, we can’t get enough of the game.  Hell, if they were going to host a game between the Indiana Hoosiers practice squad versus a team from the Lingerie Football League in a Marsh parking lot, they’d still get a couple thousand people there for that.  What I’m trying to say is that football is awesome.


You laugh, but she’s her team’s version of Ray Lewis.

Now while I’m down to watch football year round, The one thing I can never get into is the AFL.  For those not hip to that, that’s arena football.  You know, the weird indoor football played in basketball stadiums on short fields where they go all Tecmo Bowl style and run with only 8 players to a side.  No disrespect to the guys who play because they have had some big names come from there into the NFL, most notably Kurt Warner.  However I can’t take a guy seriously if he’s the third string running back for the Cleveland Gladiators, partly because of that ridiculous “Any Given Sunday” sounding team name and mostly because, well shit, it’s Cleveland.  Just let the dream die.

The Arena Football League has almost gone the route of the old ABA back in the Seventies before the NBA bought them, where teams had to fold or consolidate operations in order to survive.  In fact the whole AFL went out of business in 2008 but came back in 2010 under new ownership and folks with deep pockets who wished to own their own pro sports franchise on the cheap.  Which leads us back to the original purpose of this story.




Yep, you read right.  Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are co-owners of the Los Angeles KISS, the new expansion team in the AFL this season who play their first game this weekend.  The fact that one of the largest markets for football hasn’t had a professional football team since both the Raiders and Rams bolted (for Oakland and St. Louis respectively) is still a glaring oversight that the NFL has yet to correct.  However when the first team you bring back in town is owned by the guys who wrote “Detroit Rock City” and still hold true to a gimmick that’s been running longer than Gene Simmons’ hair extensions shows just how starved for gridiron action they are in L. A.  Now while the band in the past has been known to slap their names on anything that will get them a quick buck like comic books, pinball machines, and sex toys, Simmons and Stanley are legitimate sports fans and have vowed to bring their love of football to the masses andOHMYGODWHATISTHAT?!!!



Those are your uniforms?  Really?  You do realize people can see you, right?


“If I can’t see me, THEY can’t see me.”

These jerseys are bad, yet not in the “Channelling Two-Face from Batman” Maryland Terrapin jerseys from a few years ago “Bad”.


If he turns the top inside out, he totally blends in with the field.

Guys, I know you own the team and all but slapping your, well, EVERYTHING all over it is a little crazy.  The fact that the logo for your team is your actual band logo with a generic “L.A.” spray painted over it is just lazy and the flame thing is freaking insane.

“..with uniforms that look like a South Beach tattoo parlor and an Ed Hardy t-shirt had a baby and then set that baby on fire, you might assume that there’s a bit of overcompensation going on here.”


“I’ll have you know I’ve never had to overcompensate for anything in my whole entire life, because I’m a ROCKSTAR.”

Well at least KISS is staying true to what they know.  They are all about rocking faces and not giving a damn what anyone else thinks.  As long as they decide not to make it all about them by performing during every halftime or only having their music piped in from the PA system in the stadium, I’m all for it.  It’s their money, so they can do what they want with it.  Besides, it’s not like spending a ton of money on a novelty football league has ever backfired on anyone before…



Black Marcus

Author Black Marcus

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